When To Pause Your Inner Healing?
Are you wearing scars with you like a badge, or are you showing up in the world with renewed skins?
Innerwork can be a life-long thing.
Be it healing traumas, emotional wounds healing, reparenting, inner child healing, past life clearing, ancestral healing, mindset work etc
Let’s recall…When did you embark on your self-healing journey? For most people, it was when you were having a personal crisis, and you realised this is, in fact, a repeating pattern!
Someone describes this as the “Dark Night of the Soul” ; or what I’d call the Winter season of your life where you’d go inward, hide, reflect, rest, recalibrate, and heal until you are ready for the world again.
That repeating pattern, like a root, stems from painful experiences or unmet needs when you were a child; and develops a bunch of tangled stories that you keep telling about who you are, and how you see the world (= mindset/ habitual thinking).
Discovering tools of innerwork opens you up to a whole new world in understanding who you are, had the AHA moments when you finally realise WHY this keeps happening and the deeper reason of you feeling unfulfilled regardless of how hard you’ve been fighting to fill up the void.
And in the process of healing, more hidden, unhealed wounds and patterns will be uncovered, waiting to be attended.
Yet, inner healing work can get addictive – like some people would develop a hobby of popping pimples ><
It certainly feels very liberating and rewarding to play detective in digging out another hurtful experience and find the connections to your current life, and the fact that you finally pay more attention and empathy to yourself plus gain that from those around you feels very heartwarming – for a short while.
The tricky part is, there is never a finishing line for healing; If you aim for a 100% done of healing before you can move on, then this attention to your past is only distracting you from the NOW for you to take real-world actions to build a new pattern for your future!
Then how do you know when enough is enough, even for innerwork?
Honouring The Seasons of Your Life
There is a season for everything.
Recently I get called out on this shit. Which I believe is quite common among people interested or are deep into spirituality.
After all innerwork is a means, not an end. It is supposed to help you dig out the root cause of some unconscious pattern so that once it sees the light, you can break the vow and the chain of cycles by choosing to respond differently.
It doesn’t mean you won’t slip into the same pattern again (because it’s familiar). But when it does, you can recognise it fast and be able to shift your way back to the new pattern you have developed to replace the old.
You can now be conscious of making new choices, instead of reacting from your subconscious patterns.
When do you know you’ve been dwelling for too long in your inner healing? Here are some red flags:
- Whenever minor hiccups happen in your life, your first response is to open an investigation file to dig out all childhood linkage, even when all it needs is to make a (dreaded) phone call and some assertiveness. (I know, I hate making phone calls too ><)
- You can’t stop telling friends about your sense of achievement by “overcoming” your wounded past.
- Your mind keeps going back to your personal history, near or far. When it’s not, you are then imagining a future with the SAME plot from your past, like soap dramas 🙁. Your attention is neither in the NOW nor in an optimistic future.
- You contribute all your current life dissatisfactions and unfulfillment to your troubled childhood. And you are over 32. Although you’ve discovered the root cause, you seem not to be able to do much about it to change the effect as a mature adult.
- Secretly you’ve been blaming your parents, the bully, the harasser, the bystanders, or whoever have hurt you. It reminds me of the lyrics of Because of you by Kelly Clarkson:
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you, I am afraid
Body-Mind Connection Plays Big
When this happens, it signifies:
- Weakened lower chakras –
The strength of 3 lower chakras indicates how we interact with the world for survival.
Your root chakra represents how you connect with the earth, to make your moves forward; your sacral chakra tells us if you have a controlling issue or are accustomed to being controlled; and your solar plexus represents your courage to take personal responsibility to whatever happens in your life.
2. Divine Masculine energy is weak –
Regardless of your gender, we need both Yin and Yang to live a balanced life.
Keywords for Divine Masculine energies are:
Are you embracing these energies in your everydy life?
So, how to strengthen these then?
The quickest route is through engaging your Physiology!
Which could be sports, hiking, gardening, breathwork, body-mind exercises etc. Simply put, any activities you can burn calories with, increase your blood circulation and bring more oxygen to your brain!
And of course, SUNLIGHT -the purest Yang energy!
If you’ve been a lazy bone for a while, you thought you needed courage and discipline for workout; Well, for someone with an undefined Will center in Human Design, I’d say you’ll just need to kick yourself out once!
Then feel the full-body sensation of how much better you are feeling.
Until it makes a habit and you can grow your consistency by doing sports once at a time instead of creating a 5-day-week workout routine that scares you off!
Inner healing tools are just the boat that takes you across the river.
Once you’ve crossed over to the other shore, you don’t need to carry that boat with you in your next journey!!
If you’ve been hibernating enough, done enough innerwork and feeling ready for your personal Springtime again, let’s make it happen!!!
Like your biceps, when you put in repeating efforts, it will be strengthened!
So do you want to keep reliving that hurtful story in your head again and again, making that particular pattern more sticky, more habitual to be repeated in your future life, OR are you willing to choose an empowering story from now on?
If you’d need some guided support in your growth journey, I’m here to help!
See this message as an invitation to work with me in our private 1:1 confidence and personal power coaching!